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Saturday, December 16, 2006

Honorable Mention: Pink - I'm Not Dead (but you might as well be)

5. Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape
Not a complete and utter disappointment, and that's why it's the lowest on the list. Still, 4-5 passable tracks does not make an album, especially one befitting a star of Stefani's caliber. Too many cooks in the kitchen, way too much rap (for a girl that doesn't - and shouldn't), and a general feeling of retread sink the few standouts. Early Morning saves the album, but it really shouldn't have needed saving.

4. Justin Timberlake - Future Sex/Love Sounds
Justin's debut was one of my favorite albums of 2003. It had a classic sound, a great selection of songs, and a lot of melody. Unfortunately, FS/LS loses almost all melody about halfway through and instead reverts to monotonous posing. Many herald this album as bringing brave new sounds to pop radio, when really all it is is a subpar Timbaland album sung by Justin the uncharismatic wimpy white boy. A shame. For a while it was looking like we were going to have a new (and sane) King of Pop.

3. Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell III
Meat Loaf's newest album carried with it an intense amount of expectation. After all, it was completing a much-beloved rock trilogy. He really should have stopped when he was ahead. Bat Out Of Hell III is pure filler, a collection of unreleased material that should have stayed that way. Instead of pushing for something new he instead chose to record melodies and sounds that he'd already mastered long ago. This one stinged especially because we could really use some Loaf back on the radio.

2. Beyonce - B'Day
Perhaps the worst mainstream successful album of the year, Beyonce's shriek-a-thon called B'Day was unleashed upon the American public who, of course, embraced it. A collection of atonal tracks highlighted more for their beats than the actual songs, don't be fooled by current single Irreplaceable, the sole gem on the album. B'Day is a prime example of a young star not utilizing her full potential.

1. Christina Aguilera - Back To Basics
The most overindulgent, self-aggrandizing vanity project released this year, Back To Basics is the longest, and most insufferable album on this list. There's something to be said for a double album that has maybe four tracks worth listening to. This album also wins the award for worst song (non-single) of the year, with the atrocious (and ironically titled) Thank You to the Fans. From the gorgeous, boundary breaking Stripped to this.... it was a long plummet for Miss Aguilera. And, judging by the album's lukewarm reception in the States, she should consider this a lesson learned.


Blogger Paul said...

i love lists :) However, i do still quite like JT's album, though can't work out whether part of that is because he looks so damn sexy in most his recent videos... and you're right, only i didn't realise it. Stripped was amazing piece of work and Back To Basics is ok, but a massive comedown on what she did before. My biggest disappointments of the year? Keane's Under The Iron Sea. And Eton Road not being huger. Which is a new word i just invented :)

11:55 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

I rather liked Keane's Under The Iron Sea. It's not mind blowing or anything, but Leaving So Soon is absolutely gorgeous. As for Eton Road, love their look... not always sure about the vocals. And Leona? Um... don't even get me started. The personality of cardboard.

4:32 PM  

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