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Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Top 10 Songs I Never Want To Hear Again In 2013 (But Probably Will)

10. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger
I know this is popular with a lot of people, but I've gotten to the point where I just find that chorus mind-numbing. It just doesn't do anything for me and never has, and the damn song is everywhere.

 9. Rita Ora - R.I.P.
Really just a bad song, honestly. One of the laziest melodies of the year, and I'm baffled by her success, musically.

 8. Gym Class Heroes (ft. Adam Levine) - Stereo Hearts
Adam Levine's vocals grate at the best of times, but they're particularly annoying in the hook to this hip-pop track. Catchy in the most annoying way.

7. Emeli Sande - Next To Me/Read All About It (Pt. III)
I couldn't choose between these two tracks, because I find them both really irritating. I realize Sande might be a lot of people's thing, but I find this kind of lifeless, light soul-pop really irritating.

6. Phillip Phillips - Home
This started out okay, but once it was used for every single advertisement in the world, I had to throw up my hands in defeat. Enough already! I feel like this song has been playing on repeat for my entire life.

5. Jessie J - Laser Light
Another year, another insipid Jessie J track. I haven't been a fan of anything she's done (her voice and general persona annoys me to no end), but at least this isn't her worst. That honor goes to the overplayed and uber-obnoxious Price Tag.

4. Nicki Minaj - Starships
This is the year where Minaj became really unpleasant. I find everything she does now to be needlessly attention-grabbing without anything to really back it up. It's the worst when she crosses over to pop, like in this song.

3. Alicia Keys - Girl On Fire
I am simply not a fan of Keys' dirge-like approach to writing melodies. I find her music so ugly sounding just in the composition and production of it. I've accepted that this is just me and my taste, but this track is a great example of that go-nowhere, midtempo, unmelodic songwriting. I realize I might be in the minority on this.

2. Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
SO annoying. I refuse to believe that anyone actually likes this. The spoken bits are easily the most irritating bit of music in 2012. It's the exact reason Swift has always annoyed me. I guess it's supposed to be cute or funny or ironic or something, but what it really does is make her seem like an irritatingly self-obsessed romantic comedy lead.

1. Karmin - Brokenhearted I really don't know what it is with this song. It's probably those ridiculously vile spoken "cheerio" bits. They ring of that "aren't we so clever?" vibe that always rubs me the wrong way. Whatever the case, I think this was the nadir of pop music in 2012. Completely derivative, even as they attempted to have a "quirky" personality. It all felt very forced and patronizing.

So that's my top ten, guys. Agree? Disagree? What song do you never want to hear again in 2013?

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Pop Blitz 6/13/12

Kylie Minogue - Timebomb
This is the freshest and youngest Kylie's sounded for awhile. I love that this isn't trying to be a big "event" single. It's just an excellent pop song firing on all cylinders. A

Nelly Furtado - Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)
It's been a long time since Furtado's peak of popularity. This tries to recreate that sound, but to lesser effect. There are parts that I like, but the verses grate in a way her voice hasn't before. B-

Katy Perry - Wide Awake
Her gazillionth single from this era. The thing is, though, they've all been pretty good. This lush ballad is the perfect way to conclude an epic run of singles. A-

Kelly Clarkson - Dark Side
I know many will disagree, but I've never been a fan of Clarkson's sulkier singles. This is perfectly serviceable, but it just doesn't stick with me the way her best material does. B-

Rita Ora - R.I.P. (ft. Tinie Tempah)
Is this even a song? I really can't see any reason for this existing. There's no effective hook, no sense of discernible melody, and so many synths that it drowns everything out in a soup of messy production. D+

Usher - Scream
Usher's had a long career, hasn't he? I definitely prefer old 90's Usher and not this new "Ursher" as he annoyingly calls himself. I like that he's "discovered" dance music, but this sounds like everything else out there right now. C

Rudimental - Feel The Love (ft. John Newman)
Could've used slightly more of a vocal hook, but what's there is pretty good. I like the production. It's not overwhelming and the brass is a welcome surprise. I'm not sure I understand why it was #1 in the UK, but it's nice enough. B+

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pop Blitz 1/26/12

Santigold - Big Mouth
This definitely has some bonkers M.I.A. influence to it. I like the production (especially that frenetic hook), but I wish there was a little more focus on melody. Still, a promising return. B

Alexandra Burke - Elephant
I would have never expected such a lush, electronic sound from Burke. It's a pleasant diversion from the more straightforward pop of her debut. In fact, it doesn't sound anything like her. She's following trends, but this totally works. A-

Lana Del Rey - Born To Die
Lana's not the easiest artist to love, and the verdict's out on her album, but I really enjoy her singles. This has an epic atmosphere, though it's really pretty subdued. I love the hip-hop elements of the production and the melody's quite haunting and memorable in its simplicity. A

Chris Brown - Turn Up The Music
It's no surprise that he's continued to explore the clubby side of his music after his success in that genre, but unfortunately this isn't quite as strong melodically as past singles. Not bad, but not particularly memorable either. B-

Emeli Sande - Next To Me
Emeli's certainly going for the more serious side of pop music. This isn't particularly fun or innovative, but the melody's nice enough. Still, I can't say that this track would warrant my undivided attention if it came on the radio. It's pleasant. B-

Kelly Clarkson - What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)
To me, this is Clarkson-by-numbers. I like Kelly's music, but I have trouble picking this one out of the crowd. It's anthemic, yeah, but the melody feels recycled. It sounds like the commercial to some reality show. C+

Jason Derulo - Breathing
Shania Twain recorded a song a few years back with almost the same lyrics in the chorus. That's the thing about Derulo. Nothing ever feels new. He samples in nearly every single and the sample here (is it a sample?) is by far the best part. In other words, the parts where he's not singing are awesome. The rest... not so much. C+

Your Choice: What's your favorite Pop Blitz song this week?


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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Pop Blitz 9/29/11

Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All
It's a breezy return for Clarkson, and this song goes down real easy. I'm actually surprised how much I like it. Her vocals sound so amazing on the chorus. A-

The Wanted - Lightning
I love this melodically, but I can't help but feel that there's a little something missing in the production. Even so, this easily keeps up their run of brilliant pop singles. B+

Rihanna - We Found Love
It's another big hit, and a new venture into a very European sound. Thank Calvin Harris, whose production is gonna sound very fresh in the US (even though it's getting pretty stale worldwide). Still, this is more anthemic than she's sounded in awhile. A-

Jason Derulo - It Girl
I like how everyone's jumping on the whistle craze now that Maroon 5 have found such success with it. Unfortunately, the whistling is by far the best part of this forgettable slow jam. C+

Bruno Mars - It Will Rain
It's an odd choice for a Twilight soundtrack, for sure. For me, his singles have either been amazing or dire so far. This is oddly somewhere in the middle. Certainly not bad, but it doesn't have that "wow" factor, either. B-

Pixie Lott - All About Tonight
If she's looking for a US career, she would be wise to offer this as her opening salvo. It never breaks away from trendiness, but it's her catchiest single to date by a mile. B

B.O.B. - Strange Clouds (ft. Lil' Wayne)
A lot's riding on this comeback single. It's certainly not the crossover hit he needs for pop radio, but it's not hideously mediocre either. It's a little Tinie Tempah-esque, except not as good. C+

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